Pandemics and the Suspension of Time

I looked outside today. I didn’t see much difference.

Traffic is still whizzing by, mail delivery, trash pickup…nothing has really stopped.

Except me.

We’re in a surreal era when time has begun to stand still. We shed our schedules and the days roll into each other. I’m acutely aware of nature’s timepiece – sunrise and sunset. There is simplicity and certainty there.

Sometimes you need to sit lonely on the floor in a quiet room in order to hear your own voice and not let it drown in the noise of others. ~ Charlotte Eriksson

It’s been nearly a month since we traveled to Tallahassee, our last excursion out of town. Today marks Day 28 since we started social distancing and limiting our travel to nearby stores or gas stations only. We decided pretty early that going out amongst other humans would not be in our best interest, especially since we have family members who are in high-risk categories.

Use the energy that fear creates to focus the mind more intently on the present moment – where fear doesn’t exist. ~ John Mackey

Since then, the days seem to blend together as I try to maintain some semblance of routine and variety. And it’s within these constraints that I reevaluate my concept of time and reconsider what is important.

As I read news articles and watch the numbers climb hour after hour, it’s easy to imagine worst-case scenarios and apocalyptic futures, but here’s the kicker – the moment I’m in is the only one that’s real.

You can always cope with the present moment, but you cannot cope with something that is only a mind projection – you cannot cope with the future. ~ Eckhart Tolle

The past is over and the future is speculation, I have control over neither. But right now, in this moment, I have choices, and I can choose to bring myself back to the present and question: Am I ok? Right now, am I ok?

If you feel lost, disappointed, hesitant, or weak, return to yourself, to who you are, here and now and when you get there, you will discover yourself, like a lotus flower in full bloom, even in a muddy pond, beautiful and strong. ~ Masaru Emoto

Sobriety has taught me how to compartmentalize and prioritize. In the early days of my sobriety I learned to put aside the future and just do the next thing in front of me. It didn’t make sense to contemplate a future when I didn’t even know what the present was made of, I wasn’t even clear on that yet. So I rein myself in when I feel the specter of uncertainty loom.

Focus on opportunities not setbacks. Focus on what you can do, not what you can’t. Focus on the present moment, not the past or the future. Empower yourself! ~ Akiroq Brost

I make attempts to map out my day. I find myself thinking I should do this or do that – then the phone buzzes. It’s either a child, sibling, or friend on the other end who needs to talk about their fears, rehash an issue, or laugh about something silly.

I’ve stopped trying to plan the day and just let it unfold to whatever it will turn out to be. When my attention is called elsewhere, I go with it and accept that this is where I need to be and this is what I need to do. There are no interruptions.

Today, I’m reminded of why it’s important to simplify. Why noticing the little things, all the small victories, will ultimately save my sanity. When I walk my dog through the neighborhood, I feel the tropical breeze, note the sun’s position in the sky, and smell the lilac and lavender. There is nothing else but me, the pooch, and the moment we’re in.

So when fear of the unknown overwhelm your senses and muddle your mind, take a breath – ask one simple question – right now, am I ok? Then respond accordingly.

You must live in the present, launch yourself on every wave, find your eternity in each moment. Fools stand on their island of opportunities and look toward another land. There is no other land; there is no other life but this. ~ Henry David Thoreau

Stay safe and be well, everyone.

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Featured photo: pixabay